Sometimes it comes from nowhere and sometimes it is nowhere at all; sometimes, it is just in the little things that people do around you. And sometimes it is just the memories.
I believe that it is not the quantity but the quality, you can spend with a person just a couple of hours and it might feel like it was life time, not in the relative sense of the time spent, but in the amount of information that was shared, and more important, what was left after that encounter. That is what matters.
Last year we lost the life of one of the biggest treasures of my family, my aunt Aurora. She was a real angel on earth, not only because of her physical beauty which was honored so many times in beauty contests and endless words of affirmation, but also because of her huge heart, so big that many times it meant her own sacrifice for the happiness of others. We never spent much time together, but it was one of those people that give you quality, and I always looked up to her in a sense of admiring her heart and her way of being. I have vivid memories of her when my mom was sick and she came to our side, being my mom and mine, I remember her later driving her blue Toyota FJ around Caracas, and then I remember those small snippets that were composed from short visits to her house or encounters in my Grandmothers place. But even though we did not share so many moments, I remember her smile, her voice and her love, just like it happened yesterday. She was so dear to me that I chose her as my Godmother and no matter what the social etiquette expects form a Godmother, she was always the perfect choice. And in the true sense of honesty with which I am writing these words, if my mom would have left me all those years ago during her illness, I would have wanted her as a substitute. She is so different than my mom, and at the same time they shared always such an equal essence that it takes a very detailed look to appreciate this, their bond was always beyond what anyone could see.
Her life was far from perfect, bad choices, broken hearts and many other twists and turns, but even with the truth of her reality, she is still an inspiration for me, a person that always made me want to be better, someone who just illuminated a room with the honesty of her heart.
When she got ill it was a big hit for the entire family, but even though submitted to the biggest pains and the most intense moments, she never lost who she was. She never blamed anyone, she never stopped believing in the love of her family and she always kept God very close to her heart. She never forgot and she saw each day as an opportunity no matter how miserable the pain was making her. It was hard not to be there, the mix of emotions that battle inside of you when you are far away from your loved ones and you just want to be there with them. We did not say goodbye, but during that phone call when I last spoke with her a few days before her passing, I knew it was going to be the last. In the middle of her pain, she just wanted to say beautiful words and hear beautiful stories, and in that conversation separated by geography, she left with me a phrase that will remain close to my heart forever: ‘Just promise me that you will always be happy’.
It is not easy to be happy all the time and of course it is not viable, we all have our bad moments. But more than a promise to her, it is herself and her spirit that inspires me to take that phrase and live by it, to be thankful for every opportunity, every person and every moment, to live life in its fullest and not realize that even with pain and imperfection, life is so worth living.
As I have written before I have been blessed to have in my life the best role model in the world that is my mom, as well as the example of life and joy in my Grandmother, and in my aunt I have the inspiration of love and life and the blessing of understanding that you make your own happiness, no matter what the world seems to ‘see’.
With love to my ant Aurora, who yesterday celebrated 61 years of bringing happiness to all the lives she touched and who will continue to do so forever,
Stay tuned!
Ciertamente no es fácil enterder los dos misterios de la vida y la muerte en su simple sencilles. El amor las mantiene a lados y así suena mas sencillo. De el amor nace la vida y el amor te lleva a soportar la érdida física de la persona, a quien mantienes en el alma y en los recuerdos, los momentos vividos, las cosas aprendidas y tambien aún cuando suene incongruente es el amor quien en la muerte lleva la vida misma, la vida eterna en el amor del Padre. Fácil de entender no es, pero ciertamente el internalizarlo como tu lo has hecho es la mejor forma de reflejarlo.
Tu tía, tu abuelo, el mio son sinvalorables que se mantienen vivos en el amor nuestro y eso ciertamente es invalorable por siempre y para siempre, amén.
Por eso no sentimos sino alor en su recuerdo. Gracias mi gorda linda por tan hermoso escrito en honor a tu tía.
Bestos
Madre